True story. Things that go through my head:
Myself - That's kinda cold. That's your baby. He is looking at you. Look back. Go talk with him.
Me. - No! Don't look! He is supposed to be asleep! If we look at him, he will think it's play time and will smile and will act all crazy for us to pick him up and will cry for more food just because he is awake and will go to bed too early and will wake us up in the middle of the night! He needs to stay on schedule. Haven't you read that book?
Myself - Now, that was a run on sentence. You need to learn to punctuate. Anyway, I'm gonna look at him 'cause he is so cute!
Me. - See what you did? Now he is smiling and he looks so adorable that I will have to go say hi and fluff one of his feet. After that we need to turn on that damn music that comes in the swing, walk away slowly and ignore him.
Myself. - Hum. Look at that. He did go back to sleep. Do we have to hide here in the hallway for the whole time? And does the house have to be so dark? We are going to bump into the coffee table again.
Me - shhhh. Yes, just until we are sure he is really asleep.
Myself. - He is awake again. He is looking at the wall and smiling at that painting again.
Me. - Just wait. Dont go in there... I'm hungry, though.
Myself. - Me too. Should we warm up some leftovers?
Me. - Are you crazy? The microwave wakes him up. Lets just eat it cold.
Myself. - But he is awake.
Me. - No, he is not. He closed his eyes again.
Myself. - huh! He can't make up his mind.
Me - He is a baby. They fight with their eyelids when they are overstimulated. I told you it wasnt a good idea to get that noisy, crazy toy out. Oh my God! The phone! The phone is ringing! Go get the phone!
Myself - See? He wasn't sleeping. I told you. He is crying again.
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