Men and boobs

After I feed baby, I plop him on his bouncer so I can pump, and we both watch Barefoot Contessa make elaborate dishes that I may never be able to attempt again. Heck, I am lucky if I can put together a hamburguer helper without burning down the house these days.

Because it's just the two of us, I take off my bra in the living room to put on the pumping bra and its concoction.

Baby used to just sit on the bouncer and play with his toys for the amount of time it took me to pump. Lately, however, he has been a fussy butt because his fangs are coming.

An intesting phenomenon has been occurring, however. Baby was chewing his chew toy with passion while letting me know loudly that he was not happy on the bouncer, when I took off my bra.

Suddenly all noises coming from tiny mouth of tiny person seized and he even stopped chewing half way, little mouth half open, and little, big blue eyes wide, staring at my breasts.

I put on pump bra and chewing commenced once more. Once finished with pumping, I took off the bra. Baby again stopped everything he was doing by his baby self and stared at my boobs, once more, and with intensity. This happened every single time these last few days.

I wonder if it's the baby in him or the man in him. Or maybe he just wonders why momma has those funny looking balloons attached to her chest and only now has noticed them. Who knows?

Such phenomenon also happens with my husband, since such sight also makes him stop everything and brings an instant smile to his face. I have even considered fleshing him during a fight just to see what would happen, if he would start smiling. Maybe I could win the fight that way.

I should try this tomorrow. Maybe I should piss him off with something, claim that a terrorist on tv said Marines suck; get him very pissed and then show him a boob without warning. Will he smile?

Baby certainly stops chewing on his toy.

I have caught even stepson catching a glimpse at them (no, I was not wearing cleavage) a few months ago and then turning beet red when his eyes met mine and he realized I knew where they had been.

What to do with so much testosterone around me? Maybe I should buy a female dog or something.