My husband, who was my boyfriend then, offered to kill it, but I had gotten used to the idea of looking for it in the morning and finding it in different places in the living room, until I found its sad little body dead on the floor.
When it comes to spiders and cockroach and other nasty beings I pretend they don't exist and hope they don't crawl inside my mouth or my ears at night. I also hope they don't kill me, if they are poisonous.
When I first moved to that apartment during my single hood, I found the largest cockroach on the bathroom sink. I did what any other normal adult would do. I screamed and ran out of the bathroom, closing the door behind me, as if that would deter the cockroach and as if the cockroach was out to get me. I didn't sleep that night, and no, I am embarrassed to admit, I never went back to kill it. I just kept hoping it would vanish into another dimension or crawl back to where it came from. In the morning my wishes had been granted and it was gone.
So now I am feeding the baby, who has his eyes wide open, staring at something beyond my shoulders and smiling every once in a while (which freaks me out because behind me there's a creepy closet) when I see an evil spider coming our way. I yell for my sleeping mom in the other room to bring me a shoe (husband is asleep on the couch because he is sick, which is a whole other story). She appears disoriented carrying her sleepers with a confused look that says, "what he heck does she need a shoe for at 2 am". I hand her the baby and smack on the floor and walls with the shoe as the creepy crawler hops away from my insults, "you mothafucker, mothafucker, mothafucker!"
My mom is aware that this is a cuss word in English and warns me that baby will start repeating what I say soon.
The spider good and dead, I grab the baby back, who is now staring at me, frowning. I tell baby that as long as his mom is around no bugs will ever get to him.
Btw, I wonder why he frowns at me so much?
Ha ha. Funny post. Isn't breast feeding helping?
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