No more hugs

I was a weird baby.

From day one since freed from my mom's belly, I slept through the night. I walked and talked by nine months old. I could make elaborate sentences and manipulate mom into letting me sleep on her bed with words by twelve months. By two years of age I could ride a bicycle without supporting wheels, which made me look like a circus monkey, mind you. I didn't like to be rocked or held to fall asleep. I'd cry and throw a fit if my mom tried, and only slept soundly if placed in my crib and left the heck alone.

To this day I want to be left the heck alone. I've been known to tell husband, in a sleepy state, while he tried to cuddle one night, "Honey, let's just hug tomorrow. It's sleepy time."

I hurt my husband's feelings and payback is a bitch. My baby no longer wants to be held or rocked to sleep. He will pull my hair, wiggle himself out of my arms, grunt, scratch my neck, punch me on the face, call me fat. That is, until I lay him in his crib. He rolls to his belly, grunting one more time as if to say, "now leave me the heck alone, mom" and he is out. I am left looking at him feeling like a cat drenched in water by surprise and wanting a hug.