The baby mop

I have an idea for a product and I think I'd make MILLIONS! It's called, "The baby mop." 

This idea came to me when I was cleaning my floors and realized that ever since creature became mobile, that it takes me a lot less time to mop everything.

I wondered, puzzled (picture my scratching my head, dumb look on my face), where the dust went, when I realized that baby's clothes have been filthy and his hands always have a wig worth of hairs tangled in little baby fingers (because I shed like a dog).

Btw, remember when I was a germaphobe and didn't let anyone touch my baby?

Anywho, so the product would be a mop attached to baby's clothing and especially knees with some smelling good febreeze stuff on it. 

The infomercial would have a happy, manicured momma reading a magazine while baby mopped, I mean, crawled, around. 

The slogan would be, "Happy baby, happy momma, clean home!" 

The end of the infomercial would have a happy family eating dinner and momma would even have her hair done. The baby would be asleep soundly from all the mopping, I mean, crawling. 

What do you think?

Nobody puts baby in a corner

I  can't blog anymore because my kid is freakin mobile.

Gone are the days I could just plop him in a corner with a few toys and get some other s*** done.

No more hugs

I was a weird baby.

From day one since freed from my mom's belly, I slept through the night. I walked and talked by nine months old. I could make elaborate sentences and manipulate mom into letting me sleep on her bed with words by twelve months. By two years of age I could ride a bicycle without supporting wheels, which made me look like a circus monkey, mind you. I didn't like to be rocked or held to fall asleep. I'd cry and throw a fit if my mom tried, and only slept soundly if placed in my crib and left the heck alone.

To this day I want to be left the heck alone. I've been known to tell husband, in a sleepy state, while he tried to cuddle one night, "Honey, let's just hug tomorrow. It's sleepy time."

I hurt my husband's feelings and payback is a bitch. My baby no longer wants to be held or rocked to sleep. He will pull my hair, wiggle himself out of my arms, grunt, scratch my neck, punch me on the face, call me fat. That is, until I lay him in his crib. He rolls to his belly, grunting one more time as if to say, "now leave me the heck alone, mom" and he is out. I am left looking at him feeling like a cat drenched in water by surprise and wanting a hug.

We've got the giggles

He's got momma's personality in that we find the silliest things funny :oD (and we eat like vaccum cleaners).