Baby talk

Pediatrician: so how many words can Matthew say now?
Me: well, if you count Edgar as a word, he can say two.
Pediatrician: who is Edgar?
Me: I don't know. No one knows. We think it's a ghost. The other word is "dada" but dada is away so he doesn't say that much either.
Pediatrician: so he is not a man of many words...
Me: no, he keeps to himself. He grunts a lot, eats a lot, and likes to either build things or tear them apart.
Pediatrician: that's a guy for you.

I guess it doesn't help that I speak two languages with him and sometimes in the same sentence. I think even my brain does a knot. It also doesn't help that I create words, such as, "Tchoopootchoo, do you want a loogabooga?" and the baby looks at me with an expression that says, "What the hell is a loogabooga and who is tchoopootchoo? As far as I am concerned, people call me Matt and what you're holding is a banana."

Round 2

First pregnancy (while husband is in town):

"Oh, I'm so tired and feeling so sorry for myself... Maybe I should just lay down here for five hours and take a nap... maybe I will feel better. I feel like throwing up but at the same time I want that Brazilian snack that they only sell at the other side of town. Maybe I should get my husband to leave work early and go get it for me? He put me in this predicament. It's all his fault. He should get me that snack even though I will just puke it out. I'm such a fragile human specimen. I need special care. Oh, I feel so sorry for myself. Life is so hard. Uuuuuuuughhhhhhh...."

Pregnancy with a toddler (while husband is deployed):

"Oh, I'm so ti... GET THAT FREAKIN ROCK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!!"