Baby talk

Pediatrician: so how many words can Matthew say now?
Me: well, if you count Edgar as a word, he can say two.
Pediatrician: who is Edgar?
Me: I don't know. No one knows. We think it's a ghost. The other word is "dada" but dada is away so he doesn't say that much either.
Pediatrician: so he is not a man of many words...
Me: no, he keeps to himself. He grunts a lot, eats a lot, and likes to either build things or tear them apart.
Pediatrician: that's a guy for you.

I guess it doesn't help that I speak two languages with him and sometimes in the same sentence. I think even my brain does a knot. It also doesn't help that I create words, such as, "Tchoopootchoo, do you want a loogabooga?" and the baby looks at me with an expression that says, "What the hell is a loogabooga and who is tchoopootchoo? As far as I am concerned, people call me Matt and what you're holding is a banana."

Round 2

First pregnancy (while husband is in town):

"Oh, I'm so tired and feeling so sorry for myself... Maybe I should just lay down here for five hours and take a nap... maybe I will feel better. I feel like throwing up but at the same time I want that Brazilian snack that they only sell at the other side of town. Maybe I should get my husband to leave work early and go get it for me? He put me in this predicament. It's all his fault. He should get me that snack even though I will just puke it out. I'm such a fragile human specimen. I need special care. Oh, I feel so sorry for myself. Life is so hard. Uuuuuuuughhhhhhh...."

Pregnancy with a toddler (while husband is deployed):

"Oh, I'm so ti... GET THAT FREAKIN ROCK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!!"

Edgar

Me: who wants to go on a stroll?
Matt: Edgar!

Me: who wants a banana?
Matt: Edgar!

And sometimes he just passes by, running with his walker and saying, "Edgaredgaredgaredgar!"

Who the hell is Edgar?

That's what he said

Me: Do they stop whining so much when they can actually talk? Like, if they can say what's bothering them, do they make less noise?
Husband: Nope. It gets louder and more frequent.

Our new game

We are playing a new game called, "What is Matthew chewing on this time?"

The rules of the game:

1) find quiet or gagging child (a quiet child is never a good sign, and a gagging one also)
2) hold wiggly child down as he pulls your hair and kicks your groin
3) stick finger in child's mouth and get slobber all over yourself
4) look for foreign object by rubbinb all corners of slobbery mouth
5) get bitten by new teeth you didn't know baby had
6) you may have to retrieve something half way down his or her throat (that usually triggers vomiting, so have clean clothes for you and baby ready, and also a mop)

The mystery of what you can find keeps this game interesting and all participants involved.

The Elmo project (never again)

The party pooper

Our baby get together to celebrate baby's coming of age only involved tiny ones, even though mommie's original list included over fifty people. Daddy decided this wasn't such a good idea, and mommy realized all the cleaning  she'd have to do after, so only small people of one year old and younger were invited.

All babies (and all boys) were having a swell baby time of screaming and banging cabinets, until mommy found the birthday boy playing with dirt. His socks and pants had dirt and he touched it with his hands. Mommy wondered, puzzled, "where did he find dirt?" and then she smelled him.