- you have no idea where your hair brush is and you distinctively recall brushing it last right before heading to the hospital, a few weeks ago
- you find that showering is a luxury
- you want to cry with baby and think you're a horrible mother, even though all babies cry
- you develop carpal tunnel and back spasms from holding baby in one position for hours on end because that one position makes him sleep/stop crying
- you want steak, like, all the time
- your belly still looks five months pregnant but you think you look hot in comparison to a few days ago
- you lose a bunch of water and give yourself credit as if you were losing fat
- you want to hog the baby from all the people wanting/battling to hold him
- you go from pajamas to pajamas
- your fingertips smell of baby butt cream, even though you washed them a million times
- you pee like seabiscuit but are still scared to death of number 2.
- you find yourself making up lyrics to lullabies you only know the rhythm to and you sound pretty ridiculous..."sleep, little baby, sleep little baby, cause your momma is super duper sleepyyyyyy"
- your baby will sleep fine, unless you decide to take a nap or has a yummy plate full of juicy steak in front of you. Then he will wake up and will want to eat NOW.
- you pat baby's back for so long to get him to burp that you end up burping first
- you make a bundle of blankets in your arms to make it dark for baby so he can fall asleep but when you peak in slowly, his eyes are wide open, staring at you... Oh, and it is three am.
- you walk around the house in the dark 'cause you're not afraid of ghosts anymore. You actually know your way around furniture and sharp edges without hitting anything, even while drunk with sleepiness
- you still feel the baby kicking inside, even though he is clearly outside and that's when you wonder if you just had gas all along
- you think every body has the flu
- you think you're super woman and go clean the house, do the groceries and attempt to work out, and then have to take narcotics to function again
- you feel like your period is never going to end
- you obsess if the baby is not eating enough and then if he is eating too much
- you notice stretch marks that weren't there while pregnant
- you have no idea what day of the week it is and are surprised when it's not even the month of the birth anymore
- you wonder if that person really came from inside of you because at times you could swear it was tapeworm
I remember everything you wrote about and even a few more. Isn't it totally amazing what we do to ourselves to create someone else? You didn't notice those stretch marks becuz your belly was covering them up :)
ReplyDeleteJayme, the stretch marks are on my back. Crazy! They are tiny, but annoying enough.
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